Five days back I had been cursing my cell phone. Who even invented that gadget! I understand it is very useful in a lot of ways. But, those muted group conversations irritate me. I do not want to be a part of those random conversations, and I don't want to see those random pictures shared. Every once in a while I have to take the effort to clear such conversations and remove those 152 odd numbers of random forward images that get shared. Secondly, with these cell phones in hand, you make yourself available at all times, to those who have your number. One can show our unavailability by not picking the call. But still with the mobile beside us, we get invaded by such calls which we do not want at the moment. Well of course I have the option to not to have a cell phone and set my own standards to go about my life without it. Or simply, I could just leave my mobile at home when going to some places. But what to do, a single girl living in a city away from home, is always expected to carry her mobile by her incessantly worried parents.
Their concern over my safety and their dependance on my carrying a cell phone at all times is so much that, when I lost my cell phone day before yesterday (AHEM!!) my mom's first reaction was - "How will I be able to contact you or know where you are going tomorrow? Probably you should buy a cellphone separately, just for your room!" As of me? With all my accusations and frustrations about owning one, I should be relieved right? So would I think! But nope! I am devasted, as if my heart has broken into pieces. Been in mourning all day today for 'her' and had been listening to all heart break songs! I am angry and ashamed at myself for losing my phone, for I loved her! I do not want to use any other phone in fact. I am still hoping the auto guy or anyone who had taken it would be altruistic enough to charge her battery and call one of the call log numbers, or respond to the voicemail I had sent. :( I am so hopeful to get her back that I have still not deactivated one of the sim numbers in it. Trying to keep open the possibility to reach her if she gets charged. Yes, my relationship with her was so close and personal that I made all efforts to customise her and reflect 'us'...our personality in unison. She is an extension of me, and I do not want to lose her (a part of me) now.
With all these happening in my utterly shattered and disoriented present self, since the moment I lost her, till now, I have been thinking - What's going on? Why do I miss a cell phone so much? I mean it was not like I completely appreciated her presence when she was with me! I was in fact frustrated with the need to keep her with me in todays' lifestyle. But now that she is gone, I am shattered! I mean, even losing a gold ring does not disorient me to such an extent! Last time I lost my phone, I felt so bad for now I was making my parents spend money on a new phone, unnecessarily. But this time, I have a spare phone, and it is not because I have to spend money. Yesterday, when I had gone to block and reactivate one of the sim numbers, I CRIED in that service centre! This time, it is more the mobile herself! I bought her to share myself with her for at least two years! I loved my experience with her! She was not a common brand bought by most. She was not from the expensive gang. But she had all the necessary up end features and her UI gave me an out of the world experience! I took care of her since that first day. I had got her a nice leather pocket cover and made sure she is always put back in the safe pocket in my bag, and never left astray at random places. But still, with all my security services for her, I managed to lose her!
It feels like having been dumped by the person you loved. I am still seeking a concrete explanation to why this gadget (apparently one that gets so close to self without permission) dances a ballet with my emotions. How did I let a materialistic technological innovation get into me to such an extent? Scientifically one can give explanations based on it being a compartment of self and how ownership influences our mental state. But we don't experience such attachment theories say with jewels or bags, at least not to the extent we do with these gadgets. How come as humans we attach to machines more than other materialistic products?
While I begin my explorations on that, I am still going to cling on to my hopeless hope that I would get her back, at least for a few days more I guess. :|
Their concern over my safety and their dependance on my carrying a cell phone at all times is so much that, when I lost my cell phone day before yesterday (AHEM!!) my mom's first reaction was - "How will I be able to contact you or know where you are going tomorrow? Probably you should buy a cellphone separately, just for your room!" As of me? With all my accusations and frustrations about owning one, I should be relieved right? So would I think! But nope! I am devasted, as if my heart has broken into pieces. Been in mourning all day today for 'her' and had been listening to all heart break songs! I am angry and ashamed at myself for losing my phone, for I loved her! I do not want to use any other phone in fact. I am still hoping the auto guy or anyone who had taken it would be altruistic enough to charge her battery and call one of the call log numbers, or respond to the voicemail I had sent. :( I am so hopeful to get her back that I have still not deactivated one of the sim numbers in it. Trying to keep open the possibility to reach her if she gets charged. Yes, my relationship with her was so close and personal that I made all efforts to customise her and reflect 'us'...our personality in unison. She is an extension of me, and I do not want to lose her (a part of me) now.
With all these happening in my utterly shattered and disoriented present self, since the moment I lost her, till now, I have been thinking - What's going on? Why do I miss a cell phone so much? I mean it was not like I completely appreciated her presence when she was with me! I was in fact frustrated with the need to keep her with me in todays' lifestyle. But now that she is gone, I am shattered! I mean, even losing a gold ring does not disorient me to such an extent! Last time I lost my phone, I felt so bad for now I was making my parents spend money on a new phone, unnecessarily. But this time, I have a spare phone, and it is not because I have to spend money. Yesterday, when I had gone to block and reactivate one of the sim numbers, I CRIED in that service centre! This time, it is more the mobile herself! I bought her to share myself with her for at least two years! I loved my experience with her! She was not a common brand bought by most. She was not from the expensive gang. But she had all the necessary up end features and her UI gave me an out of the world experience! I took care of her since that first day. I had got her a nice leather pocket cover and made sure she is always put back in the safe pocket in my bag, and never left astray at random places. But still, with all my security services for her, I managed to lose her!
It feels like having been dumped by the person you loved. I am still seeking a concrete explanation to why this gadget (apparently one that gets so close to self without permission) dances a ballet with my emotions. How did I let a materialistic technological innovation get into me to such an extent? Scientifically one can give explanations based on it being a compartment of self and how ownership influences our mental state. But we don't experience such attachment theories say with jewels or bags, at least not to the extent we do with these gadgets. How come as humans we attach to machines more than other materialistic products?
While I begin my explorations on that, I am still going to cling on to my hopeless hope that I would get her back, at least for a few days more I guess. :|
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