Being Social

Over 65% of my research is done and this is my opinion about marriage - It is a union for convenience. It maybe for economic, cultural or emotional. In the past it seems to have been predominantly for economic and cultural convenience, fed by the need to expand one's own community and sustained by the ability to procreate. Then later on, encouraged by our human trait to find meaning in actions, marriage came to be a ceremonial significance of 'eternal love' for each other - the emotional convenience. Yet the amusing thing about us human beings is that we can sustain living neither with our own-selves alone, nor with a family or a community or a person. Why because, on one hand, loneliness is like an empty vessel. It makes too much noise in our head and keeps reminding us of how disconnected we are from social beings, and how much probably are we missing out by way of that. On the other hand, with every 'interconnected' relationship outside of wedlock, our only ap...

Mom Calling: Hey! how are you? What plans for the evening? Me: Nothing much. Just going out with my office friends. . . . Time: 21:30pm Mom Calling ..... Me: Rushing to a quite place (mostly the toilet area of the mall) Mom: Hello, are you back home? Me: Yes! yes! long back! . . But all this while, I was out with my 'DATE'. Meanwhile, my parents were doing this: My dreaded situation? Let's say I have finally hit it off with this guy I had found through an online dating site. All has been going good for the last 2 months when I get this set of profiles to choose from, from my parents. Being respectful of their attempts and to tag along with the 'societal norms', I pick one of the profiles for I had already dodged their last 5 attempts. Then suddenly the chosen profile side had also agreed to mine! O M G! What do I do now? Do I see both of them? Do I continue with my guy, tell him of my situation, and as well go on a date with this...

Last week I had finally added count to the mass who have watched and liked Tamil movie '36 Vayadhinile'. My brain, devoured by the philosophy of the movie, found an interesting thought. As questioned in the movie - 'Who decides the expiry date of a woman's dream?' There are many answers we have come across - the male chauvinists, patriarchal society and sometimes the women themselves. But, don't you think, underlying all this is OUR own SOCIAL CONSTRUCT and our own methods of children upbringing? Right from the day parents gain knowledge of the gender of their baby, their's and the society's expectations as well get aligned. By expectations I mean - for a girl, she is expected to emotionally and morally support and strive for the family, flex to the husband's job opportunities, expected to call her in-laws amma and appa, expected to know cooking and help in the kitchen even when visiting some place as a guest!  And also, the women are expect...

I recently read this somewhere: 'If those whom we begin to love could know us as we were before meeting them, they could perceive what they have made of us.' (just don't go down yet...*peace*) . . . . . . . . Every time I read or get reminded of this, I take my time to process the essence of this beautiful statement. It deserves that honour. It makes so much sense! May be is this why people say, it is always better to marry a friend? Of course you need attraction & 'feelings' towards that friend, to fall in love. But if you find that love in your friend and that friend understands what has he, as a person, as an individual, since that moment you fell in love with him has made of you, there's nothing more precious a gift than that. My eyes caught this beauty when I was (am) in that phase of my life where eventually I succumbed to reality and met my first prospective 'would-be', arranged by my parents! :| Till then, the dogma I had ...